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How To Be A Good College Roommate
Living with someone you don't know for a whole year can be difficult. Here are a few tips to making the year not as awkward and hopefully, not too many fights.
#1 Respect the Shared Space
If you're messy or clean, the shared space is not all yours. The stuff that is yours, you can treat it however you want. But any shared space, like a kitchen or bathroom or common room, should be treated with respect.
Pick up after yourself and keep it pretty clean and neat. If you make a mess, clean it up yourself and do it immediately. Don't wait for anyone else to do it because this causes fights, or worse passive aggression which can lead to more detrimental fights and outbursts.
Know the boundaries of your roommate(s) preferences for how clean spaces should be kept. A good rule of thumb is to be as clean as possible.
#2 Talk About Any Potential Conflicts
Talk to your roommate as soon as something starts to bother you. Before anything can become a potential argument, be sure to bring it up and discuss your feelings on it so you can compromise or come to some sort of agreement.
Always be pleasant and not harsh and make sure you don't harp on them doing something you hate. Make sure it's phrased in a way that shows how it upsets YOU and how you would really appreciate it if BOTH of you could figure something out, so you're not upset.
This is a definite skill to be able to talk this way without upsetting your roommate, but it's good to practice and sometimes it may not work. But always try. If it doesn't, then that's okay. There are plenty of people out there who are hard to comply. But trying to work on problems before they become problems can ease a lot of the tension that could build up later.
#3 Discuss Boundaries
This needs to be a discussion that is held within the first week, maybe even the first few days of living together. Knowing how each other feels about cleanliness, music at night, friends staying over, etc. is important to being able to live with one another.
Be specific about things that really irritate you or things you want to have harsh rules on, because you may think everyone is a decent human being and knows how to live, but odds are they aren't. Not everybody grew up living the same way as you did and you notice it really fast when you live with someone totally new in college.
Some things to definitely discuss: having friends over, having a significant other over, having a hookup over, cleanliness in the bathroom, cleanliness within the room, how to deal with trash/food, temperature of the room, sleep schedules, preferences to how one likes to study.
#4 Don't Force A Friendship
People say their college roommate was either their best friend or their worst nightmare. But most of the time, they could just be someone you lived with. Just don't force a friendship and wanting to be best buds forever as soon as you start living with them. If a friendship happens, it'll happen naturally over time.
Just because they are the person you're living with doesn't mean they have to be your buddy. They can help you out and be your buddy when going to freshman social gatherings for the first few weeks. But if you grow apart or like different things, but work well when living together (at least for now), then don't be upset.
It is totally okay to not love who your roommate is in college. Especially as a freshman. Even as a sophomore. If you find people you love living with and hanging out with, that's awesome! But don't be worried if it doesn't happen.
#5 Don't Judge Their Habits
This was a hard one to learn but it pays off in the end. I lived with many roommates who's daily habits or interests or routines differed greatly from mine. And I often judged them for it. But I was wrong to do so.
They can live their life any way they want to as long as they aren't endangering themselves or anyone else. And it's none of my business to try to "fix" them.
I am a person who likes getting their homework done early, who would rather stay in bed than go out, and who likes to treat herself to some ice cream sandwiches every once and a while, but understands I need vegetables too. I had roommates who differed with me on more than one of these and sometimes it really bothered me. IT SHOULDN'T! Unless they are seriously harming themselves or others, how they live shouldn't be something you judge. You can complain about it to your friends, sure, but don't try to fix them.
Of course, if their habits are harming you in anyway, talk to them to make it stop. But if you're just annoyed because they sleep in super late and you're an early riser, then just relax. Vent to your friends and move on. You can't change them and you shouldn't.
Rooming in college is tough! But I hope these can help in some way! Comment with any crazy roommate stories or questions down below!
Happy Living!